Redux
by Anemone Kurosaki
Summary: What happens when Red Water turns the two most notable State Alchemists into mere toddlers? How can Big Brother Alphonse, Auntie Winry and Nana Riza possibly handle this situation on their own? RizaWin, RoyEd.
1. Prologue

Redux

**This is dedicated to and inspired by Christopher Snowball and our anime nights.**

* * *

A cool breeze blew through the room and danced off of the concrete walls. Somewhere in the distance, water dripped through a crack in the ceiling, pooling on the stone floor and alerting the occupants of the room to the rain above ground. Envy chose to observe these insignificant things, thus succeeding in tuning out the brunette before him.

"So what you're saying is you couldn't do what you were ordered. You couldn't accomplish the simplest of tasks. You're useless." Lust's voice was cold, eyes held disgust. "Why does Father even keep you alive?"

Envy let out a growl of hatred. "Don't blame me, you ugly hag!" He stopped, schooled himself and continued. "It was all because of the Fullmetal Brat and Colonel Pyro. I can't do anything when they're around."

"Don't you think you're a little too old to be blaming others?" Lust wasn't focused on the green-haired male. Instead, her lilac orbs were watching Gluttony devour yet another pathetic human.

As his violet eyes seethed with anger, Envy was overcome with the urge to throttle the mouthy harlot. But the urge disappeared as quickly as it had come, an idea forming in its wake.

"Hey, Lust," he began slowly, capturing the brunette's attention.

She gave a nod of acknowledgement.

"How do you feel about us making another play?"

Lilac eyes snapped back to the green-haired male, instantly giving Envy her full attention.

"Wouldn't our plans go much more smoothly," a devious smile crawled across Envy's lips and malicious intent gleamed in his eyes, "if the Fullmetal Pipsqueak and Colonel Sparky were out of commission?"

She let a small approving laugh bubble in her throat. "What did you have in mind?"

Envy's eyes traced the room, paranoia making him search for eavesdroppers. Leaning close to the woman, he whispered his latest scheme into her ear.

"Ah, yes, this could work." Lust's eyes glittered with anticipation, wheels in her mind turning. "Gluttony," she called.

"Yes!" The bottomless pit was almost cheerful, eager to be of service.

"Clean up your mess," she commanded, pointing to the pile of freshly stripped bones and blood smears. "You and Envy are going to pay a visit to the good Doctor Marcoh."


	2. Chapter 01

The clank of metal swirled through armor and echoed down the deserted street. He could see the sun glaring off of the white stucco; just a few more steps and he'd be there.

"It's hot," a small voice complained at his side, followed by a sharp tug on his arm. The force of it almost ripped the steel appendage from his body.

"And I'm sleepy," another whine sounded within his armor accompanied by a metallic ring. He heard rustling, almost felt the boy wriggling within him.

Alphonse cast red glowing eyes down at the black-haired boy beside him, placed a hand on his chest to acknowledge the blond tucked safely behind his chest-plate, before cheerily saying, "We're almost there. Just wait a few more minutes."

"But we've been walking _forever." _The child's voice rose in pitch, and if Al had had ears, he would've plugged them. The fifteen minute walk from the train station into town was apparently too much.

The seven-foot-tall suit of armor heaved a sigh. "All right, Roy, all right." He leaned down and hefted the boy up onto his shoulders.

The rest of the trek to the white stucco house was made in silence.

* * *

The sound of footsteps on the wooden porch roused Riza from her sleep. Sharp sherry eyes surveyed the room; dark red walls, disheveled bedding and clothes littered the hardwood. Everything was exactly as they had left it. She moved to disentangle herself from sheets and the splayed limbs of her partner as the steps drew closer to the door.

"Where're you goin'?" The voice of her lover was slurred with sleep.

Riza's lips pulled into a soft smile, brown eyes locked onto vibrant blue. "Someone's at the door."

"I didn' hear a knock." The blonde sat up, smoothing tangled locks with fingers and rubbing sleepy eyes.

As if to ease the other's doubts, a knock echoed through the quiet house. Riza gave a look that said _I told you so_ and separated herself from the younger woman. "I'll be back, Winry," she tossed over her shoulder, grabbing a robe as she left the room.

Riza was three steps from the door, bare feet chilled by cold hardwood, before she felt hands wrap around her waist.

"I told you I'd be right back," she chastized, but her voice was warm and held a chuckle of amusement.

"It was too lonely without you," Winry shrugged.

Riza snorted. "You're not usually this clingy."

Blue eyes narrowed in playful defense. "_You_ say clingy, _I_ say romantic."

This little bantering session carried them to the door.

Riza, careful and guarded, turned the knob. Sherry eyes widened in surprise. "Alphonse! This is unexpected. Weren't you on a mission?"

"Al!" Winry squealed in excitement, stepping forward to embrace the boy whom she viewed as a brother.

The suit of armor stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Heh, hey there, Winry. Good morning, Lieutenant Hawkeye. Sorry for just showing up like this…." He trailed off nervously.

Sharp brown eyes bore holes through steel. "What are you hiding, Alphonse?" Riza's voice was strictly no nonsense.

"Well, uh, y'see…" Alphonse gave a helpless shrug before stepping to the side.

"W-What-?" Riza and Winry stammered. A small, black-haired child with dark eyes and pale skin stared up at them.

Blue eyes blinked rapidly, confusion clear in them. "Al, why does this boy look like-?" Winry began.

"Get inside," Riza barked. "I want to know everything."

"And where's Ed?" Winry craned her neck to look down the quiet street, expecting to see a disgruntled blond dragging a heavy suitcase in tow. A few cars along the pavement was all she saw.

Silently, Al shuffled from foot to foot and opened his chest-plate. Inside was a small blond boy, left leg and right arm missing. If his eyes hadn't been closed in sleep, both women would've bet money they were golden. Automail limbs were tucked away in the furthest corner of the armor along with a folded military uniform, red coat, several articles of black clothing, and two pair of boots.

The First Lieutenant and the automail mechanic stood in stunned silence taking in the scene before them.

After several minutes, Riza cleared her throat. "I want details," she stated, ushering the boy inside, black-haired toddler in tow.

* * *

Al found himself crammed into the confined space of the beige loveseat in Riza Hawkeye's living room. Aforementioned woman sat with his childhood friend on the matching couch across from him, and the former Colonel-turned-toddler was nestled between them.

Winry had the coffee table and much of the hardwood floor littered with colorful wires, tools and bits of steel. Her hands were busily working to rebuild Edward's automail. Said Alchemist-turned-toddler was curled in Riza's lap, sleeping soundly.

"Tell us what happened, Al." Riza prompted the boy to begin the tale with a firm tone. "Please," she added when the suit of armor released a nervous squeak.

Al visibly relaxed at the kind word and pleading look. "Well, it started out like any normal mission. I mean, it would've been normal if _he_ -" a glance was aimed at the black-haired boy who was currently doodling with markers on notebook paper. "-hadn't been there…"

"_This. Is. Bullshit." The Fullmetal Alchemist was attempting to make himself comfortable on the hard train seat, the beginnings of a rant rolling off his tongue. "Why does that bastard keep sending us on these pointless missions? They have nothing – I repeat, __**nothing**__ – to do with our goal!"_

_The gray armor that housed his brother's soul was about to speak, to sooth him with a speech about how Colonel Mustang only had their best interests at heart, that he was only obeying the higher-ups. But he was interrupted._

"_Train food is always so bland," Colonel Mustang complained, making himself cozy in the seat beside Edward. He clutched a bag that held sweet buns from the station, nibbling one which prompted the commentary. "I should _really _see to it that better food is served. But there's just _so_ much _paperwork_-."_

"_Will you just shut up for five fucking minutes?" Edward asked, cutting off Roy's complaint and earning a sharp look from his superior officer. _

"_You're in a good mood," Roy remarked dryly._

"_Thank you, Colonel Sarcasm." Ed snapped, turning golden eyes to gaze out the window. The scenery breezed by – mainly barren fields. "It's really hard to bitch about you when you're right here, y'know."_

"_That never stopped you before," Roy smirked. "What's the matter, Elric? Daunted by my presence?"_

_The blond bit back the urge to rip that smug smirk off of Mustang's face. "Just shut up, bastard. Why are you here anyway?"_

"_Fuhrer's orders." Roy shrugged._

_Ed snorted and rolled his eyes. "Since when do you follow orders?"_

"_You're the one who's insubordinate, Little Red Runt."_

_Golden eyes flashed dangerously. "Excuse me?" His voice was low, venomous. _

"_Little. Red. Runt." Roy's smirk, widening by a tiny fraction, punctuated each word. _

_Edward took that tiny movement as yet another dig at his height. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY COULDN'T EVEN SEE OVER THE DESK TO RECEIVE ANY ORDERS?"_

"_Brother," Alphonse sighed, grabbing the hood of Ed's crimson coat, effectively stopping him from piercing the Colonel with a transmuted blade. Blood was so hard to clean up, after all; it always left a stain. "He didn't say anything like that."_

_Edward let out a whoosh of air as he was hefted back against the hard wooden seat. Golden eyes narrowed in a glare, and Roy tossed a satisfied chuckle his way before reading over their orders once more. Ed relaxed – at least this meant the bastard would be quiet._

"_Tell me about Youswell." Roy said after a few minutes. It was a statement given in that "You-Will-Respect-Everything-I-Say-Because-I-Outra nk-You" tone of voice._

'So much for a few minutes of quiet time,' _the blond thought, grinding his teeth._

"_You are the expert, after all." Roy added, practically purring._

'Well, I guess it wouldn't kill me to inform him,'_ Edward decided. "There's not much to tell, really. It's a run-down little coal-mining town with one inn, which is too expensive for such shoddy accommodations, and some rude townsfolk."_

"_Ah, now you're just quoting your report from the first and last visit. As I recall, you also re-built the inn. Improving the "shoddy accommodations" was too much for the Hero of the People, was it?" That smirk seeped into Roy's tone. _

"_SHUT UP-!" Edward began to fume, the tips of his ears reddening in anger._

"_The townspeople didn't want anything flashy." Alphonse swooped in and saved his brother from another confrontation with Roy. Two fights in such a short length of time would've been a tad excessive._

_Ed shot his brother a grateful look, and then continued on as if Roy had never opened his big mouth. "I singlehandedly saved the mine _and_ made the townsfolk appreciate alchemists." His lips pulled into a smug smirk that could rival Mustang's. _

"_So rebuilding the inn was overkill," Roy said offhandedly. _

_Ed made an unidentifiable sound of anger, making a move to lunge for the older man._

_Roy calmly stuffed a sweet bun into the boy's mouth. "Had to keep you from getting too cocky, Fullmetal." He then turned his attention back to the file. This was, apparently, his way of ending the discussion._

* * *

_At some point during the train ride, Edward Elric had fallen asleep. This was to be expected; it was a two day trip, after all. He was awakened from a dreamless sleep by a sharp, incessant poke to the ribcage._

"_Get up, Brother. We're here," Alphonse demanded. The boy was foregoing his polite tone, which meant this wasn't the first time he had tried to rouse the blond. _

"_Shhh," Ed mumbled. "Too loud. I'm sleepin'." He felt warmth next to him, and he was drawn to the heat like a magnet to metal._

"_Come on, Ed. The conductor is giving us dirty looks."_

_The young alchemist heard the plea and discomfort in his brother's voice – Alphonse always worried about the impressions he made on others – but the embrace of slumber was so comforting. Ignoring his brother, he burrowed closer to the mysterious heat source. _

_There was a sigh, but he disregarded it and slipped back into unconsciousness – until, of course, he felt himself being lifted, still pressed against that source of warmth. A golden eye cracked open grudgingly, peering up between blond lashes. _

"_The hell?" Edward slurred, voice thick with sleep. He rubbed grit from his eyes, hoping he was still off in dreamland._

"_Wake up, pipsqueak." Roy chided, bouncing him a bit in his arms. _

_Heat spread from his nose across high, peach cheek bones. "Why the _fuck_ are you _carrying_ me?" Ed demanded, his voice rising an octave or two. _

"_Embarrassed, Fullmetal?" Roy was genuinely amused by the boy's reaction._

"_Shut the hell up, bastard!" Edward snapped, sleep dissolving. "Put me down, dammit!"_

"_Gladly," onyx eyes still shined with amusement, but he obliged the brat's furious demands. He loosened his hold, and the blond landed on his feet, heavy boots hitting the wooden planks of the platform with a thud. _

"_Can we just hurry and get this over with?" Ed asked, crimson leaving his face, mind focused on his mission. _

"_You don't wanna see Holling and the others?" Alphonse asked, turning his head toward the inn._

"_Maybe," the boy looked thoughtful. "It depends on how long this takes. For now, it's best not to let them know we're here."_

_Al sighed but nodded in agreement. _

_Roy stood silently and let the boys talk about people they thought he had no knowledge of. He saw no need to inform them otherwise._

* * *

_The entrance to the mine was small and dark. A feeling akin to foreboding charged the air, but both alchemists and the suit of armor shrugged it off. With a quick snap of gloved fingers, a lantern was lit and the flickering light caught the streams of dirt tumbling from the mine's entrance._

"_A-Are you sure this is safe?" The shaky question was asked by Alphonse, laced in a nervous laugh._

"_Don't wimp out on me now, Al." Ed said, snatching the lantern from Roy's fingertips and barreling toward the dark entrance –. _

"It's finished!"

Alphonse's tale was halted by Winry's joyous squeal. Oily fingers clutched the fruits of an hour's labor; an automail arm and leg – child-sized. It was something she'd started a few months prior, just resized and correctly wired.

"I'm going to attach them while he's still sleeping. That way, the pain will be minimal." Winry's explanation was given through barely contained excitement. "Hold him still, Riza."

They all watched as expert hands adjusted ports, fiddled with wires and cleaned away bits of dirt. She then gestured to Al who took the leg from her grasp.

"One," she began, bringing the arm next to Ed's shoulder.

"Two," Alphonse continued, sliding the leg into place.

"Three!" Roy finished, earning a quick look and smile from Winry and a chuckle from Al.

The limbs slid into their ports with ease, connecting with a snap and an electronic hum. Edward twitched, a small yelp of discomfort left his lips, but he never fully awoke.

"His body still seems adjusted to the attachment of automail," Winry murmured, eyebrows furrowed in curiosity as she tightened several screws in Ed's arm.

Riza turned her attention from the automail mechanic and her sleeping patient to the small boy beside her. "What're you drawing, Roy?" She had watched him from the corner of her eye throughout Al's story; his eyes had never left the paper, fingers only stopping to grab a different marker.

Wordlessly, Roy turned the notebook to Riza. He beamed, eagerly awaiting her approval.

Sherry eyes widened and a smile spread across her lips. It seemed the Colonel's interest in fire hadn't disappeared. Emblazoned neatly on the page was a swirl of orange, yellow and red flames. A small child stood in the corner, fingers pressed together in a snap.

"He remembers, he just doesn't know how to do it," Al explained.

Riza nodded, looking at the child in wonder. "That's very nice," she said, voice warm.

Roy's smile widened before he pulled the paper from its bindings. "It's for you, Nana Riza."

She blinked, unsure of how she felt about her newest title. "Thank you," she chuckled, taking the picture. Then, as if remembering there was a story to be told, she turned back to Al. "Continue," she commanded, easily slipping back into Military Mode.

"Right, now where was I…?" Alphonse trailed off thoughtfully.

_The foreboding feeling never left them as they made their way deeper into the mine. _

"_Why're we doing this again?" Edward wondered aloud, side-stepping a pile of rubble._

"_We're checking the mine resources, you know, minerals and whatnot." Roy answered._

"_So the military is recycling missions, tossing you in as a way to spice things up?" Ed questioned._

"_Look, I have no idea, okay? It's not our place to question orders." The Colonel had given a similar speech to Fullmetal before; he remembered it clearly._

"_Oh-ho, did I hear what I think I heard? Did the Great _Roy Mustang_ just admit that he _wasn't_ all-knowing?" Edward's voice was mocking, almost sing-song._

"_SHUT YOUR MOUTH, FULLMETAL!" Roy rose to the bait, onyx eyes narrowed in a glare, gloves at the ready._

_Golden eyes flicked to the gloves before going back to Roy's face. "Stop bluffing, bastard," he stated. "We both know you're not gonna do anything."_

_Roy sighed. '_Damn brat,' _he thought sourly. _

"_Can you two stop squabbling for five minutes? We have a job to do."_

"_What's this 'we' stuff?" Ed asked. "We're the ones doing all the work." He gestured to himself and the Colonel. "You're just here for conversation."_

_If Alphonse had had a face, it would've looked stung by his brother's words. _

"_That, and you do a better job of keeping Fullmetal in line than I do." Roy admitted, wanting to counter Ed's statement._

_Edward gave an indignant growl. "I do _not_ need my _younger brother_ to babysit me!" _

"_Yes you do," Al retorted. "Without me, you turn into a jerk." _

_Their words had taken them over halfway into the mine. The lantern flickered, making shadows dance along dirt and rock walls. There was a speedily darting movement in the far corner of the cavern, but everyone wrote it off as a trick of the light. _

_The slight drip of water sounded further back in the mine, but again, neither alchemist paid any attention. When that distant drip grew into a loud rush, discomfort settled over the group._

"_What _is_ that?" Alphonse's worry was clear in his voice._

"_It's probably just-." Ed started to explain, but his sentence was cut short._

_A large wave of crimson – a tidal wave of sorts – flowed around the slight curve of the wall. Eyes widened as realization hit, but there was no escape. _

"So… Red Water did this?" Riza's tone was skeptical.

"But… I thought that stuff was lethal." Winry's eyes gleamed with confusion. She tried to remember every piece of text she'd seen about Red Water. When she was younger, curious about the books the boys read in the middle of class, she often read over their shoulders. Doing that, she had picked up some trivia.

"It usually is," Al agreed. "They must've tweaked it; if you rearrange some components, anything's possible, I guess." He shrugged helplessly, just as confused as Winry.

"Why was Red Water in Youswell?" Riza pondered.

"This may be paranoid speculation, but I think it was a trap."

Brown eyes grew distant, piecing things together. "It… It makes sense."

"If all this corruption is going on in the military," the wheels in Winry's mind began to turn as well. "With Ed and Roy out of the way-."

"-the Homunculi-." Riza contributed.

"-will have no problems carrying out their plans," Al finished.


	3. Chapter 02

"Come on, Ed," Winry pleaded. "I know you're tired. Just take a few more steps."

Winry was shuffling around the small living room. A sleepy, golden-eyed boy held the hem of her red mini-dress with flesh fingers while his steel hand slowly bounced a blue rubber ball. This was the easiest way to test his automail.

"But Auntie Winry," Edward whined, taking another step. "My leg's squeaky. Every time I move, it hurts my ears."

Winry ground her teeth and tightened her grip on her wrench. She couldn't evoke her wrath on Ed like she usually did, so her anger unleashed itself in a heavy sigh. "You have to break it in, Edward. The only way to do that is by walking."

"But I don't wanna! I wanna go back to sleep." Golden eyes hardened and his mouth set in a pout.

She shook her head slowly, exasperated. It was too early in the morning for the signature Elric stubbornness. "What if I get you a cookie? _Then_ will you walk for me?"

"Depends," Ed tugged on a strand of hair in thought. "What _kind_ of cookie?"

Riza leaned against the wall and watched the two, holding back a chuckle. In the background, she heard Alphonse scurrying around in the kitchen. She had asked the boy to make breakfast, and the smell of sausage, eggs and pancakes wafted through the small house.

A loud splash of water pulled her back to the task at hand.

"I don't like bubbles, Nana Riza," Roy complained, submerging a bright yellow rubber ducky under water. "Bubbles are for girls."

"C'mon, Roy, bubbles can be fun!" Riza said cheerily, rolling up the sleeves of her dark blue button-up shirt. She kneeled down, dipping her hands into the warm water and piled the suds atop soggy black hair, smearing some on the boy's chin. "See? Now you look like an old man."

Roy shrugged before leaning back into the tub to wash the suds away, not caring much for Riza's attempt at making bubbles "fun". His stomach growled and he looked toward the kitchen.

"How about we wash away this dirt and go fill up your tummy?" Her voice was soft, the maternal side surprised her.

"M'kay," Roy nodded enthusiastically as Riza filled her palm with shampoo.

( )

Winry sat at the kitchen table bouncing Roy on her knee. Riza sat across from her with Ed who was busying himself by playing with the salt and pepper shakers – apparently they were locked in a fierce battle.

Alphonse bustled around the kitchen, pink apron tied around his steel waist. He sat a small plate of syrup soaked pancakes, eggs and sausage – everything cut into neat little piles – in front of the boys before handing adult-sized dishes to the women. He ignored the grains of salt and pepper that littered the otherwise spotless tabletop.

"Nana Riza, will you feed me?" Ed's golden orbs were pleading.

"You're a big boy, Edward. You can eat all by yourself." She said sternly.

"But-." He started to pout.

"You're such a baby," Roy sneered with a mouth full of egg.

Edward stuck out his tongue and threw a piece of sausage at the other boy.

"Auntie Winry, tell Ed that good boys don't play with their food." Onyx eyes watched the meat roll down the front of his yellow shirt, covering the face of the panda etched into the fabric.

"Nana Riza, tell Roy that good boys don't call people names," Ed retorted, flesh fingers playing with the hem of his shirt – identical to Roy's save that it was green – while his steel hand shoved forkfuls of food into his mouth.

"They also don't talk with their mouths full," Al informed from across the room, elbow deep in dirty dishes and soap suds. "Now stop fighting and eat."

Riza and Winry rolled their eyes and ate in silence.

* * *

Sometime later, after breakfast was eaten and the dishes were done, everyone had reassembled in the living room. Alphonse was once again crammed onto the beige loveseat, Winry and Riza were seated on the couch and Roy and Ed were in the center of the room playing with toy trucks.

"So what next?" Winry questioned. "What are we gonna do?" These questions obviously weighed heavily on everyone's minds, but voicing them made her feel better.

"I'm not entirely sure," Riza admitted, playing with a stray strand of thread on a nearby throw-pillow. Keeping her hands busy usually helped her think. Usually, her hands would be busied with loading bullets into a gun, but as she refused to have those around the children, picking thread was the only substitute.

Al's gaze strayed from Ed – who had just crashed his yellow truck into Roy's orange one with a maniacal fit of giggles – back to the girls. "It would help if I knew more about Red Water." His tone took on a somewhat forlorn ring. "That's Brother's area."

"Shouldn't there be information about it in the library?" Winry looked hopeful. '_With all the time those stupid Elric brothers spend there, they should know their contents better than the librarians._'

Al hated to crush that hope. "Whatever information was there would've been in Central's first branch…" His eyes flicked to his hands in his lap so he wouldn't have to see the hope fade from those vibrant blue orbs.

"And the building, along with everything inside, is nothing more than a pile of ashes now." Riza informed.

"But… How'd you guys get the information about the Philosopher's Stone? " Winry was full of questions, and they tumbled from her mouth without hesitation. If anything, the hope in her eyes burned brighter.

"Good question. That happened after the fire." Riza twisted the purple thread of the pillow around her finger.

"Oh, that." Alphonse said with a wave of his hand. "We met a girl, Sheska, who has a photographic memory. She's the one who-." He bolted from the sofa, hand smacking against his forehead.

Ed and Roy's impromptu game of crash-up-derby ground to a halt, startled by the armor's sudden movements.

"What is it, Big Brother?" The curious gazes of both boys bore into Al, voicing the question in unison.

The armor headed to the entryway arch, giving an explanation as he went. "Sheska will know as much about Red Water as Brother would. She hounded him for information for five days straight while she put together the notes on the Stone."

In a frenzy of movement, Winry and Riza were off the couch and pulling the boys to their feet.

"Then we need to pay a visit to Miss Sheska," Winry's voice held excitement.

"I take it you know where to find her." Riza's voice came out as a statement, not a question.

"Yes," Al assured.

They hurriedly helped the boys into their shoes, positioned shirts and jeans and pulled disheveled strands of hair into place. If the most notable State-Alchemists-turned-toddlers were going to walk the streets of Central, they were going to look presentable. That done, they headed out the door, letting Alphonse lead the way down the quiet street.

* * *

Winry and Al were secluded in a park a few blocks from Central Command, safe from the prying eyes of the Military – namely the higher-ups – and waiting patiently for Riza to fetch their source of information.

"Haha, ya can't catch me!" Ed's voice floated over from the playground which held only a scant few smaller children.

"Come down here, you little brat!" Roy, who was a few inches taller than the blond and looked a few months older, had every right to use the word "brat" when referring to Ed.

Edward's amber eyes flashed and he almost lost his grip on the metal bars he was holding onto. He tightened his grip quickly before shrieking down from the top of the jungle gym. "THE HELL ARE YOU CALLIN' LITTLE, YOU FIRE-OBSESSED ASSHOLE?"

Winry was too busy giggling at the fact that Edward was still Edward – foul mouthed, hot tempered and height sensitive – to scold the child for such profane language.

Al, however, rose from the little wooden bench. A scolding tone accompanied his march to the edge of the sand covered playground. "Edward Elric!"

The blond stopped his angry glaring contest with Roy, golden orbs widening as he took in the looming armor.

Smirking mentally – partially because he didn't have a mouth and partially because his lecture wouldn't have the intended effect if he wore a satisfied, amused expression – Alphonse continued. "Little boys do _not_ use such language," he waved a finger as he spoke, "unless they want their mouths washed out _thoroughly _with soap."

The way the sunlight refracted off the gray armor made the threat seem scarier, and Edward curled his knees to his chest while keeping himself balanced on the multi-colored bars of metal. "Sorry, Brother," he murmured.

Al found that he rather liked his brother's newly acquired apologetic nature. "Good, now I don't wanna hear any more naughty words. From either of you." He fixed his gaze onto the black-haired boy who had been standing quietly at the bottom of the jungle gym. "Understood?"

There were two audible gulps as the boys nodded.

"Al, they're coming!" Winry called from the short distance of grass that separated them.

He turned, seeing Riza striding purposefully toward them, an uncertain bespectacled brunette trailing behind her. "Behave while the adults talk," he warned before heading back to the bench.

Onyx eyes watched the gray hunk of metal retreat before the boy deemed it safe to move. With quick movements, he scaled the looming expanse of steel, sitting atop it next to the sullen blond. He watched the sunlight and wind play with the sand before murmuring, "Sorry."

Edward gave a little snort, but didn't look up. Instead, flesh fingers traced his gleaming automail. A few seconds passed before he mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like "Whatever, bastard."

For reasons Roy couldn't understand, he _liked_ being called that even though it was one of those naughty words they weren't supposed to say.

* * *

Sheska's brain was still trying to process everything she had been told. This was usually so simple, but now… She tried to keep her jaw from going slack from sheer shock. Slowly, she began to piece together the information the trio had just revealed.

_She jogged up behind Riza, who had stopped next to Alphonse and a petite blonde girl, in front of a small, wooden park bench. "Um, Lieutenant Hawkeye, may I ask what you wanted to talk about that couldn't be discussed at the Command Center?" Her curiosity battled with the sheepish look that tugged at her features. _

_Al stood from the park bench slowly, wishing he could convey a comforting gaze. "We wanted to ask you a few questions about Doctor Marcoh's research notes." _

_Sheska's dark brown eyes filled with recognition and she nodded._

"_Before we get into that, there's something you should see." Riza pointed to the sandy playground, and the brown-haired woman followed her finger._

According to the blondes and the suit of armor, the two boys running amuck on the playground were none other than Colonel Mustang and Edward Elric. _This_ – her mind boggled, coming up with _nothing_ to describe the golden-eyed boy and his black-haired companion – was the result of coming into contact with Red Water.

"But… That just can't be…" Sheska half-whispered, twisting a lock of auburn hair around her finger. "According to Ed," hazel eyes watched the child; he was sitting in a sandbox with Roy, using a stick to destroy the sandcastle that the coal-eyed boy was hard at work on, "that stuff is toxic. In everything we've read, we've never heard of _this_."

"I remember that Doctor Marcoh was researching it, but I glossed over it in the notes." Al looked regretful and somewhat sheepish. "Could you fill us in?"

Sheska's gaze snapped back to the group. "Of course," she pushed her square-framed glasses up the bridge of her nose, sitting across from them on another bench. "Red Water is made when you combine numerous alchemical components. If you put it under a few tons of pressure, in hardens and the end result is a faux Philosopher's Stone."

She paused for breath, trying to slow the rush of words that tumbled from her lips. Three pairs of eyes looked expectantly at her. "Of course, this Stone isn't nearly as powerful as genuine ones, but they still draw out those that crave power. In all the information we came across, which really wasn't much, it was clear that the combined chemicals created a highly toxic substance in liquid form. But apparently, that's not always the case." Her eyes traveled back to the boys for emphasis, amazement clear in them.

"So, do you have any theories on _how_ this could've happened?" Al's voice held a desperate ring, and Sheska's heart ached for him.

She pursed her lips thoughtfully, chewing the nail of her index finger. "I suppose rearranging the chemicals, adding and subtracting amounts _could_ yield these results…" She struggled to remember the equations and alchemic compounds for Red Water, wishing she hadn't failed Chemistry.

"What if…" The gears in Winry's mind were humming, connecting her thoughts. She had a screwdriver in one hand, busily tightening a loose screw on the bench. "What if the most abundant chemical in the Water was changed? What if they upped the percentage of oxygen and hydrogen?"

Sheska made a small noise of frustration in the back of her throat. "This would be so much easier if we had a sample. We could test it-."

Alphonse gasped; a memory suddenly hit full-force. "I know where we can get some! Marcoh always kept samples around his house."

Riza and Winry shot the armor sharp, hopeful looks.

"If I book a train for early morning-." He began in a rush.

"You can be there by mid-day tomorrow." Hope made Riza's brown eyes seem almost caramel in color. Instantly, the woman began to make a plan of action. "Alphonse, head to the train station. Sheska, I need you to go back to the Command Center; gather anything you think might be helpful to restoring the Colonel and Fullmetal. Do it quickly, but secretly. Understand?"

"Yes Sir!" Sheska barked out, standing at attention and snapping a salute.

"Good. Winry and I will watch the boys, keep the higher-ups from questioning why the Colonel hasn't been to work and why neither he nor Ed has reported in from their mission."

Winry nodded, determination and resolve shining brilliantly in those vibrant blue eyes.

"Go now," Lieutenant Hawkeye ordered, with a commanding gaze and a nod of encouragement.

Everyone scattered.

( ) ( ) ( )

Deep within the confines of Central Command, the office of Colonel Roy Mustang was quiet. His loyal subordinates were hard at work; Sergeant-Master Kain Fuery dutifully manned the radio at the spacious wooden table in the center of the room, and Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda was filing papers with one hand while the other shoved a sandwich into his mouth.

Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc watched his loyal comrades-in-arms work. The blond, as of four days prior, had seated himself in the comfy leather swivel chair behind the Colonel's oak desk. His shiny black boots were propped up on the polished wood, and a cigarette rested between his lips, supplying him with a steady stream of nicotine.

The heavy wooden double-doors burst open, slamming into either side of the wall and causing fear to squeeze Jean's heart for a split second. The blue-eyed male was _sure_ the intruder was Roy Mustang, come to claim his rightful place in the soft chair. He visibly relaxed as he was greeted with the sight of someone else.

"Where are the Elric brothers? Take me to them!" A black haired woman barked commands as she strode purposefully toward the gleaming desk.

Casually, Jean flipped through a file to his right. It listed all known acquaintances of the Elrics. It was a painfully short list, and ocean-blue eyes found the woman's identity within seconds: _Izumi Curtis, age 35, married – a butcher in Dublith who taught the Elrics alchemy._

"Mrs. Curtis," he said smoothly, "what can I do for you?"

Izumi placed her hands on her hips, snorting as she flipped braided locks from her eyes. Hadn't she _just_ clearly stated her business here? Going on the assumption that the man was all looks and no brains, she repeated her demand more slowly. "I. Want you. To take me. To the Elrics. Now."

Havoc snuffed out what little life his cigarette had left in the nearby ashtray. "According to Lieutenant Hawkeye, the Elric brothers, along with Colonel Mustang, had a bit of trouble on their last mission. They're recovering at her home."

Izumi's dark eyes narrowed suspiciously. Something about that didn't sit right with her.

"But, I believe there's more to the story." Jean added. "There's no record of a hospital visit, and no one saw them board the train from Youswell to Central."

This earned him some points with Izumi. '_Perhaps he's not _so_ clueless_,' she thought, allowing a tiny fraction of a smirk to pull at her lips.

"And I do have some files that the Colonel needs to look over," Havoc continued with a devilish smile, Roy's complaints already running through his head. "Would you like me to escort you to them?"

Izumi gave another un-ladylike snort, and the Lieutenant could see where Edward got his mannerisms. "They _must_ keep you around for your intelligence." The woman said, tugging wrinkles from her white blouse.

Jean perked a brow feeling insulted. With a shrug, he stood from the desk and began to walk toward the door. "This way, please." He gave a wave to his subordinates with a command of "Hold down the fort," and he and Izumi left the room to "Sir!" uttered in stereo.


	4. Chapter 03

The clink-clank of Alphonse's armor, along with the soft chirp of crickets, accompanied him on his trek from the train station. The sun had already begun to dip low in the sky as the white stucco house came into view. He tucked the small slip of paper that was his train ticket behind his chest-plate for safe-keeping and continued on toward Riza's cozy home.

As he made his way up the stone walkway leading to the wooden porch, skirting the edge of a manicured lawn, a screech of tires caused him to turn his head to the street. A sleek black military vehicle rolled to a stop in front of the house, and Alphonse mentally gulped, shifting from foot to foot nervously.

Sunlight glinted across the window as it was rolled down. When a puff of smoke billowed out of the car, Al relaxed slightly.

"Hey, Al," Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc said with a cheery wave, rolling his cigarette from the right corner of his mouth to the left. "The Chief around?"

Alphonse gave a wave that shifted into a salute. "Evening, Sir. The Colonel is…" He trailed off, trying to come up with a probable cause for Roy's absence and failing. Lying wasn't his specialty. "Uh, inside recovering," he finished lamely.

Havoc's blue eyes studied the hulking metal curiously before he stepped out of the car. "Well, I have some files for him. Surely he can hold a pen." He smiled jokingly, puffing out a ring of smoke.

There was a clunk of metal as Alphonse stiffened. "N-No, no. There's no need to bother the Colonel with pesky paperwork. M-Maybe I can sign them…?" He trailed off questioningly, a jumble of nerves. "Or maybe I should get Lieutenant Hawkeye. She's much better at forging the Colonel's signature."

Before Jean could reply, the left door of the backseat opened. With a flurry of movement, a black-haired woman tackled the seven-foot suit of armor to the ground.

"Just what are you trying to hide, Alphonse? You've never been good at keeping secrets!"

"T-Teacher?" Alphonse's voice was a high-pitched disbelieving squeak.

"My idiotic pupils. Months go by, and I don't get so much as a letter from you. So I had to make the trip to Central to check on you myself. And I discover that Edward has been injured and you haven't improved at lying." Dark eyes hardened menacingly. "Out with it."

"T-T-Teacher, I – I…" Al shook with fear as he stared into the stern face of his alchemy teacher. He couldn't come up with a convincing lie, but he didn't want to tell her the truth either. Although, really, they had done worse and she hadn't reacted too badly.

"Izumi." A deep voice wafted over to the trio from the car, and the woman jerked her head toward it. "Maybe Alphonse would feel more comfortable if you didn't look as if you were about to destroy his blood seal."

Izumi's demeanor instantly shifted. Her eyes softened and she stood up with a small laugh, pulling the boy up with her. She looked over at the tall, dark-skinned, muscular man who stepped out of the car. "Now, dear, Al knows I could never hurt him."

Sig Curtis, Izumi's husband, reached the group in two short steps. "It's good to see you. It's been a while." He pulled the boy and his wife together for a hug.

Alphonse rubbed the back of his helmet sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry about that," he said apologetically.

"We know you have your reasons. Now tell us what you're hiding." Izumi's tone was commanding. Her hands were on her hips, and she flicked raven dreadlocks out of her eyes.

The armor gave a small mental sigh. "You won't believe me if I tell you. You'll have to see for yourselves." With a clanking wave, he ushered the group inside.

* * *

Al was sandwiched between Jean and Izumi on the couch in Riza's living room. Riza and Winry were across from them on the loveseat, and Sig stood against the wall silently. Roy and Ed were on the dark purple rug in the middle of the floor; the blond was making a dinosaur out of clay and the black-haired boy was coloring once again.

"Red Water did _this_?" Izumi was the first to speak after hearing Al's tale. Her tone was understandably skeptical.

"Yes," Riza said simply.

"We're still not sure _how_ it happened, but Red Water _was_ the cause." Winry added patiently.

Jean rubbed his eyes, blinking in disbelief for possibly the twelfth time during their conversation. "I still don't get it."

Izumi rolled her eyes and held back a snort before turning to him, pulling his attention away from the children to focus on her. "The alchemical components in the Water have been altered to render the two most powerful and troublesome State Alchemists useless." She really didn't know how to dumb it down any further than that.

Jean blinked ocean blue eyes rapidly, focusing on the children yet again. "So, the Homunculi turned the Chief and the Boss into four-year-olds 'cause they keep messing up their plans." He summarized.

Izumi smirked. Apparently there _was_ a way to simplify the explanation.

"That's the only conclusion we've been able to come up with." Al affirmed.

"And only the Homunculi have something to gain from all of this." Riza added, sherry eyes flicking from one member of their group to the next. She tried to make them grasp the seriousness of the situation with one penetrating stare.

"So what do you have planned? You can't believe this situation will reverse itself." Izumi's tone clearly held the underlying message that if they thought such things they were fools.

The woman spoke up, posture straightening. "We have an informant at Central Command who is gathering any and all material she deems helpful to reverse this situation. Alphonse has acquired a train ticket and is heading to Doctor Marcoh's former village to gather samples of Water for testing."

Izumi perked a brow curiously. "Doctor Marcoh?"

Jean nodded, ready to chime in with knowledge he stole from the file on Mustang's desk.

Instead, Al beat him to supplying the information, saying everything in a rush. "He was a former State Alchemist who served in the Ishvalan war. Brother and I met him a while back; he was known as the Crystal Alchemist-."

"Breathe Al," Winry suggested, blue eyes amused.

"Sorry," he chuckled sheepishly, not bothering to add that he _couldn't_ breathe. He saw no need to darken the atmosphere. "Anyway, he did some research on the Philosopher's Stone and Red Water. He kept samples around his house, so I'm gonna find some."

"It's our hope that once we discover how the Water was altered, we can create enough of it to fix this." Riza gestured to the boys with a wave.

Their conversation was halted by two small, raised voices.

"I'm not touching you." Roy's little lips were pulled into that familiar smirk as he repeatedly poked Ed with his index finger.

Golden eyes narrowed, and Ed's fingers stilled in his clay. "Quit it," he warned through clenched teeth.

"What?" An onyx eyebrow disappeared in messy raven locks. "I'm _not_ touching you." His index finger poked harder at the boy's shoulder.

"_Stop_," Ed's voice was a whiney growl.

"I'm not doing anything, _Edward._" Roy said innocently, beaming.

Edward's small voice was full of venom. "_Roy_, if you don't stop, I'm gonna-." The tips of his ears turned red as his anger rose. He picked up the other boy's notebook, ready to beat him senseless with it.

"They don't seem any different to me," Jean said, rolling his eyes.

"Roy, stop touching Ed. And Edward, stop whining; that's your automail shoulder, you can't even _feel _that." Riza's voice was stern, deep brown eyes were set in a stare that dared them to back-talk.

"Sorry, Nana Riza," the boys mumbled in unison. Roy then returned to his coloring and Ed's fingers began to mold his clay.

"Now then," Izumi said airily, clapping her hands to regain focus. "Sig will accompany Al on his trip to Marcoh's village."

The armor and the burly man nodded in understanding, not questioning the woman's reasoning.

Riza sank back into the plush cushions, happy to let the housewife take control for the time being.

"Lieutenant Havoc, you will return to the Command Center. Don't let anyone get too curious about the absence of your Colonel, Lieutenant or my idiotic pupils."

"Yes ma'am!" The blond snapped a salute, blue eyes twinkling at the woman's satisfied smirk.

Izumi continued, turning her gaze to Winry and Riza. "I will stay here with you two. You'll need someone to help with them." Her gaze traveled to the two boys who were, for the moment, behaving.

"If you think that's best…" Winry's vibrant blue eyes were nervous, and she gave her girlfriend's hand a squeeze.

Dark eyes looked down as she felt a small tug on the hem of her shirt.

"What should we do, old lady?" Ed asked, golden eyes eager.

Izumi ground her teeth and clenched her fists at her sides. "What was that?" Her tone was sweet, contradicting her menacing appearance.

Ed gulped, cowering behind Roy who flashed a grin. "What should we do, _pretty lady_?" He asked, batting black lashes.

Ed made a gagging sound, but stopped when he felt the woman's icy stare on him.

"Hmm," the raven-haired woman tapped her bottom lip in thought.

Roy and Ed bounced eagerly on the balls of their feet.

"How would you boys like to make cupcakes?" Izumi asked, smiling fondly.

The children's faces lit up with delight.

"Alright," Riza said, resuming her role as commander once again. "It's getting late. Let's all start fresh first thing tomorrow morning." At the nod of approval from the adults and the sleepy yawn from the boys, she barked "Dismissed!"


End file.
